Hester Prynne, the protagonist of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, challenged continuously on a daily basis about whether her parental rights revoked and her illegitimate child fostered. Absent of a husband figure and, in the eye of the public, holding a derogatory view, she was seen as not only unable to care for her offspring but also as an inferior roll-model. Similarly, parents today suffer the same dismal fate that Hester Prynne, from Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book The Scarlet Letter, endured subsequent to the Puritans prosecuting her for conceiving an illegitimate child.

Sense the conception of Parental Rights: All of the legal rights, and the corresponding legal obligations, that go along with being the parent of a child, which include: the right to legal and physical custody of the child, the right to physical access or visitation with the child, the right to inherit property from the child and to have the child inherit property from the parent, the right to consent to medical care and treatment for the child, the right to consent to the marriage of the child or its enlistment in military service, the ability to contract on behalf of the child, the obligation to provide financial support for the child, the responsibility to provide a legal defense of the child in legal proceedings, the obligation to care for, direct and supervise the child, the obligation to be legally liable for certain damages caused by the child, the obligation to see that the child attends school, and the obligation to protect the child and provide a safe living environment for the child (Adoption.com). its foundation has held strong providing the much needed attention and protection for our ambitious, future-leaders. With the recent uproar and government involvement in Parental Rights, with it arrived more control over who can have a family and how they may rear their youth. Under this Parental Rights theory, families with trivial plights are found estranged and with this theory, court cases inaugurated upon an unmerited foundation.

Unnecessary division of children from their parents may result from particular Parental Rights cases. Indeed the purpose of Parental Rights revolves around checking whether their parents are creditable then taking recourse to separation once the parents are deemed undeserving and failing to take corrective action (psychologyinfo.com); none-the-less, various cases may lack important proof; perhaps even false facts that present themselves to the case’s workforce. Though a “process of involuntarily taking away the parental rights of a parent that has abandoned a child, has without just cause failed to support a child, has neglected or abused a child, has stood by and allowed others to neglect or abuse a child, or who because of extended incarceration in prison, will be unavailable to properly parent or nurture the child during its formative years” (adoption.com), better identified as “Severance of Parental Rights”, states entitle the right to legally separate child and guardian if said conditions fail to be met. On-the-other-hand, Severance of Parental Rights falls short on covering what happens with parents that earnestly take the endeavor improving their lifestyle for their children, but nonetheless, do not make the grade; the legal action at this moment rests in the state’s jurisdiction without a respectable guiding standard.
With an underpinning based upon the salvation of maltreated children, Parental Rights assembles our nation together to battle this calamity. However, Parental Rights progress beyond maltreated children supporting parents who wish to place their children up for adoption and consequencely, facilitate in the quest of finding children to adopt (Adoption.com). Two ways for a child to be adopted have sprung forth: Severance of Parental Rights and Relinquishment: “In the context of adoption, this term generally refers to a birthparent voluntarily giving up his or her parental rights to a child, so that someone else can adopt it. In practice it generally refers to these parental rights being transferred to an agency, rather than directly to the new adoptive parents, so that the agency can maintain the level of confidentiality or privacy that the parties desire and have agreed to in the adoption. The agency then passes the parental rights on to the adoptive parents who adopt the child” (Adoption.com).

The loss of loved ones seizes a toll on peoples’ hearts. Broods affected by the injury of the termination of their parents’ parental rights suffer an equivalent toll. Children and adolescents who lose their parents because of a termination of parental rights (TPR) may respond with a variety of coping strategies, some of which may not promote good mental health (cbexpress.acf.hhs.gov). Accordingly the decision to revoke the parental rights of the guardians in fact – mentally – mistreats the child in itself. Furthermore, the parents endure stages of woe which is amplified by the pain of their children (adoption.about.com).

What seems right for children ought to be forefront in the protection of them; however, the outcomes from the assessment must be considered. Termination of parental rights must not be abolished; none-the-less, it should be revised to additionally compute the harm done to the family.

Single parents can get overwhelmed with the heavy load of responsibility and time demands that come with being the only adult in a family. Concerns about money, child rearing, and personal health loom large, and single parents may neglect their own personal needs for relaxation and fun.

If you’re a single parent feeling weighed down by too much to do and not enough time, maybe it’s time for you to think about taking a vacation tour for single-parent families. Everyone needs the occasional vacation, and single parents are no exception to the rule.

A vacation tour for single-parent families offers time to refresh and restore your mind and body and opportunities to get closer to your children in a new environment. It’s a family adventure you’ll share for years to come.

Single parents have their burdens, and children in single-parent families have their own problems, too. They often feel neglected or abandoned by a busy single parent that has to go to work and care for the household. They get little bits of time from their parent and sometimes end up spending much of their time with other caretakers. A vacation tour for single-parent families gives them the chance to be with their single parent in a whole new way.

Vacation tour for single-parent families help you rebuild strained relations with your children. You won’t be answering those phone calls from the boss, meeting with professional colleagues or your kids’ teachers, and you won’t have to deal with the thousands of daily interruptions that keep you and your children at odds.

The community of single-parent families is growing so rapidly that most travel agencies have vacation tours specifically for single-parent families. They’ll arrange for travel by train, plane, or cruise ship and help your family comply with international travel requirements when necessary.

Of course, you can’t just pick up and go for vacation tour for single-parent families. You’ll need to plan your vacation several months in advance to get the best prices and accommodations. A good rule of thumb is to book your vacation tour for single-parent families at least two months before the departure date.
If you don’t have passports or visas, you’ll need to allow a little more time for government processes to work to assure you have the necessary papers. Your travel agent should be able to tell you what the country you’re visiting requires and help you get the paperwork started. If you’re using a travel agent who specializes in vacation tours for single-parent families, they should be able to help you with almost everything you’ll need including travel, hotel accommodations, tickets to special events and entertainment areas, and restaurants that cater to children.

Of course, vacation tours for single-parent families are available within the United States where you don’t have to worry about passports and visas. They’re easier to plan and don’t take as much lead time for reservations.

Wherever you decide to go, you can learn a lot about your destination by visiting the official website and travel-related sites that contain information and travel reviews that will help you figure out what you want to do when you get there. You can also give the country’s consulate a call to get more information about what to see and do, and letting them know you’re a single parent with children may be helpful.

Travel agencies who specialize in vacation tours for single-parent families should be more aware and considerate of your special needs than other agencies. They should understand your time constraints and relieve you of as much of the planning as possible. They should also be experienced working with children on vacation tours for single-parent families.

Some large corporations are sponsoring vacation tour for single-parent families in their company. They may offer the trip as a bonus for outstanding performance or as a special incentive for future performance. If you work at a large corporation, you might check with the personnel office to see if your company has or is planning this great service.

Signing up for a vacation tour for single-parent families is the best favor you can do for yourself and your kids. You all cope with stresses and pressures every day. You more than deserve a quality break, you need it!

Taking the kids on a vacation tour for single-parent families gives you all healthy sunshine and fresh air, brings you together as a family, and gives you memories that will last a lifetime.

Parenting is a vastly important function that’s required to be performed in order to ensure better upbringing of a child. It is necessary for parents to learn the right kind of parenting so as to make the child confident and to face the challenges of life strongly.

Approaching a parenting center would be a wise decision for parents where they will be guided in a right direction as to what are the best ways to up bring a child. The parenting center is completely dedicated to help parents in becoming a successful family guardian.

The parenting center helps with professional counseling, expert parenting advice, educational classes, children management information and co-parenting. Such assistance will help you to become a much more refined and managed parent to build a dynamic personality of your child.
It is a fact that all kids do not behave in a same way. Each kid has different behavioral patterns from the other kid. If some kids are sensitive by nature there are other kids who are aggressive and violent in behavior. The parenting center educates the parents about how they should tackle each child differently.

The parenting centers make you aware of the importance of listening, watching and learning while dealing with your children. The experts of a parenting center will give you parenting advice on dealing with child’s emotional, physical and mental development without building unrealistic expectations from them. Each child has his or her own capabilities, talents and interests. As per true parenting, it is not wise to force your child to become a doctor if he has an interest in painting. The parenting center will guide you to analyze your child’s interest and encourage your child in the same.

Also, one of the common problems faced in a family is communication gap between parents and kids. The experts of the parenting center will give you important tips on how to narrow down this gap in a healthy manner so that your child can express his or her emotions freely before you.

If parents are working, the best parenting advice will get in these centers is how to take some time out of your life so that you can spend some quality time with your kids. The parenting center also organizes camps, classes and work hours from time to time in which the parents can spend a dedicated time with their children.

Although most parents would agree that their children are more important than their job, most usually get more on-the-job training than they do as a parent. As a Mother of seven once said, “The love is instinctual but the skills are not.”

A NATIONAL MOVEMENT

A 1990 study by fifteen of the nation’s largest youth organizations found that the United States has done poorly in solving the problems affecting today’s youth. There was broad agreement that the number-one solution to these problems was . . . better parents. As a result of their findings, the final report calls for a massive increase in parent education.

President Bush then released a statement of six national goals for education. The number-one goal states that “by the year 2000, all children in America will start school ready to learn.” To attain this goal “parents will have access to the training and support they need.”

President Bush’s comments represent a movement in thinking which places more value on the importance of a parent’s role in preparing children for school and life. It is encouraging to see that there is a growing awareness that families need support and education . . . in order to strengthen parents’ skills and prevent future problems.

SOCIETY HAS CHANGED

In the past, when parents had questions about child-rearing they would usually have an extended family member close by to ask advice. While some parents may have family close by, many admit that their elders’ advice on child-rearing often differs from current parenting information or their preferred style. This is a result of changes in our society over the past few decades:

Children are no longer “needed” to work side by side with their parents, like farmers’ children of the past. This helped children feel they had something important to contribute and taught them basic responsibility and life-management skills. Today, children search for ways to belong in the family and with peers, sometimes in unhealthy ways.

Superior/inferior family relationships are no longer being modeled by mothers and fathers. Women have equal rights and children feel equally unwilling to accept an inferior, submissive role in life. This change is healthy, in that all people do have a right to be treated with respect and dignity. It leaves many parents, however, with few role models or practical skills for achieving this goal.

Early on, children are being taught that they have rights: to their bodies, their feelings, and to be treated by others with dignity as a worthwhile human being.

As a result, power-and-control parenting techniques are no longer effective, because parents “talk down” to “inferior” children. This style, therefore, inherently violates a child’s right to be treated with respect, children recognize this, rebel and lose respect for the controlling parent. As our society became more affluent, many parents became more permissive and over-indulgent. Their children often grew up thinking the world owed them a living and they used their energy trying to get out of responsibilities.
Children are facing issues previous generations never had to face. It is important for parents to listen and communicate in open, respectful ways, so their children will feel safe in discussing their problems and feelings.

Although some of these societal changes have brought about positive results, they have left parents with few clear guidelines for how to raise this new generation of children into responsible adults.

EFFECTIVE, QUALITY PARENT EDUCATION

What it Isn’t . . .

Parent education does not focus on what parents are doing wrong or advocate never disciplining children, as many parents assume. It provides new options to parents and encourages them to respect their own rights, as well as their children’s.

Attending a parenting class is not a reflection of being a “bad” parent . . . it is an indication of a parent’s commitment to his/her children and role as a parent. The classes are not just for parents who are having severe problems with their children’s behavior. Many parents who attend classes want to feel more confident of their parenting and are looking for ways to prevent future problems and help their family get along cooperatively.

What it Is . . .

The most effective parenting classes are small, personal groups which provide opportunities for interaction among parents, practice of concepts and techniques learned, and individualized problem solving. Like most new skills, parents can benefit from ongoing reinforcement of what they have learned. Follow-up parent discussion groups, where parents can meet with others who have taken the class, provide an opportunity to continue applying the concepts to new situations.

MAKING THE COMMITMENT

Although professionals often recommend parenting classes, there are several issues which seem to prevent parents from joining these groups: finding a class, making the time commitment, and cost. All three really boil down to the underlying issue of priorities. If a parent looks at how much time and money he/she spends on business seminars, golf lessons, weekly fast food, or vacations, it makes sense to place a priority on attending a parenting class, which usually costs less than all of these! Parenting classes are an investment in your personal growth, your child’s future, and in future generations. Consider doing your part to make this world a better place for everyone’s children. Read a parenting book that gives trustworthy, accurate advice or check out your community’s resources for local parenting classes.

 

Parenting is the toughest, most important job most people will ever encounter and yet there is no license required, no training required, and no 24/7 hotline. This is rather short-sighted on the part of society as the cost of bad parenting is immense, but in truth the situation is not as dire as it seems. While no training is required for new parents, it is very easy for parents to learn the ways and means of good parents as well as the traps and pitfalls of bad parents. All it takes for parents to learn more about parenting is to watch, listen, and learn.

Watching is a key element to learning more about parenting. Watch the parents around you and you can learn all sorts of lessons about how to interact with your child, how to discipline your child, and how to teach your child. Almost everywhere you take your child there will be other parents and their children. Watching means observing but also listening. Hear the tone of voice as well as the words those parents use. Some parents use the right words but their tone and physical manner contradicts those words. Watch the children to note their response. Some children respond more readily to their parents. Why? What is different about that parent-child relationship? What can you take away for your own parent-child relationship?

Listen to advice. You don’t need to take every piece of advice that is offered to you. After all, there are many people who are free with advice and yet have clearly demonstrated they are in no position to offer it. However, there is often some really good advice shared by people you know and trust as well as good advice offered by passing strangers in the supermarket checkout line or in the stands at a soccer game. Be a sponge. Keep your ears open. You don’t have to take that advice but keeping your options open gives you the chance to sort out the jewels and benefit from them.
Be an active learner. Seek out information when you face a parenting challenge. Perhaps your child is acting out in a new way and your old discipline technique isn’t working. Search the internet, flip through parenting books, and ask some experts in your circle of friends. Sometimes great advice will come to you but other times you will need to seek it out. The more proactive you are about finding solutions to your parenting problems then the better parent you will become.

Parenting is a challenging job, no question about it, but it also comes with wonderful built-in rewards. Some times parents are forced to take a tough unpopular stand but in the end good parenting comes with its own rewards. Those rewards include a happy, successful child and a warm, loving relationship that will extend long past childhood and span the rest of your life. So who needs special training. If you watch, listen, and learn then you can be the parent you want to be and your child deserves.

Co-parenting isn’t easy. It’s actually quite a chore. When neither parent is willing to negotiate or communicate, the child has the job of transitioning from one parenting style to the other. As a parent educator and family therapist, I have seen many anxious and confused children affected by their parents’ inconsistent rules and styles. Sometimes children do this under the same roof and sometimes under two, but the bottom line is that it is the parents’ responsibility to create a balance.

Parenting skills vary much like personalities. The differences can be as subtle as the setting of bedtimes to as serious as choosing consequences for bad behavior. The bottom line is adults have a number of motivations for parenting. For instance, they might try to do better than their parents. Thus, we attempt to find new and effective strategies to raise good kids. These ambitions can be difficult enough. Now add the challenge of joining forces with another adult who was raised by different parents and who may be select different strategies.

So how do parents, married or divorced, stay clear and consistent, raise confident children, and feel influential as parents? They learn how to work together and become better co-parents! Here are several successful co-parenting steps:
Identify your personal style and motivations. Your first job in becoming a successful co-parent is to figure out your general style and motivations. If it were all up to you, how would you parent? How would you motivate your children? How would you use punishment and encouragement? What are the top 10 values you would like to teach your kids? Now ask yourself WHY? Why would your style be that way? What is your motivation? How did your parents parent you? Are you attempting to repeat their upbringing or compensate for it? Share your parenting style and motivation with your co-parent. I understand that you might feel vulnerable sharing your style and motivation. Your style may be different than your spouse’s style. In order for you and your partner to co-parent successfully, you both need to appreciate and support the ideas you bring to the table. When you listen to where the other parent is coming from, it will allow you to join forces. Before deciding on a parenting style and direction, consult parenting books and classes. Now that you have looked at each other’s parenting style, take a look together at good parenting books and the current research. Report back to each other and consider how your styles measure up. Decide on a parenting style. You now have several examples of parenting strategies and philosophies. Its time to blend what you believe with what your co-parent believes and what the experts say. This is the ultimate in negotiation but remember that if you do not negotiate at the adult level, it leaves your child to figure it out. Once you’ve decided, then write down the basics and embrace your new co-parenting style. Implement your new co-parenting style. Now you parent! Both parents are on the same page. Children are clear on what is expected of them and what the consequences are if they do not follow the family expectations. Thus, it lessens the occasions of arguing between the parents and the opportunities for manipulation by the children. Hold weekly co-parenting meetings with your spouse. Since you are the CEOs of your family and are business partners in a very real way, you must stay in constant communication. The success or failure of your family rests in your capable hands. Thus, co-parenting meetings are a must! These meetings should include finances, home maintenance, parenting, and relationship issues. Meetings should be held weekly with schedule book, meeting journal and budget book in hand. Continue to review your parenting style. You may find that one child thrives under your new system while another loses balance. Good co-parents always re-evaluate and restructure when necessary.

We are busy parents today. It is difficult to take the time to evaluate our parenting styles but the payoff is big for you as a parenting unit as well as for your child. Co-parenting takes the pressure off our children and the conflict out of our lives.

Copyright 2008 Parent Education Group – Reprints Accepted – Two links must be active in the bio. The article homepage: http://www.familyauthority.com/articles/family-day.html

I am adopted – Where can I find my real parents

Do you want to find your real parents? Are you curious about where you came from, who your parents are and why they gave you up for adoption? If you’ve never known your biological parents then it’s only human nature that sooner or later you’ll start to wonder why it is that they left you. You may not want to meet them, especially when you find out what the’re like but I bet that you would like to know something about them even if you do it secretly.

Before the Internet and the availability of public records online the only way to find someone was either to spend a lot of time making enquiries in the places where you think the person may have resided or to spend money on a private detective who would do the work for you. The first option often meant a lot of traveling to follow up leads that you find. The second option is expensive and enough to make most people think twice about finding their lost parents.

Start searching for your biological parents by looking yourself up

You have to start somewhere and you aren’t going to get far unless you know the names of your parents and have at least an idea of where they lived when you were born. This information should be on your birth certificate but if you were adopted then you might not possess a copy. If you don’t have your real parents details then go online and look up information on yourself. You should be able to find the information that you need amongst the public birth records.

Armed with the information about your parents from your birth record you can now search for their details using the same online database. If you know their names and where they used to live you should be able to find out where they are located now.
And there’s more. When you start finding information on your parents you can find out much more than simply where they live. You can find telephone numbers, criminal records, marriage records, arrest records and all sorts of things that you never imagined.

Locate birth parents confidentially so that you decide if you want to contact them or not

You might have a burning desire to get in touch with your real parents or you might just be curious to know who they are and what they’ve been doing. You might not know yourself whether you want to contact them at this time. Either way there’s no harm in doing the searches and tracing your biological parents and possibly the rest of your real family because it’s all done with 100% confidentiality.

When you have the information you can decide what you are going to do with it. You can pick the phone up and call them or you can quietly ignore it and get on with your own life.

Using an online public records database to find people doesn’t work for everyone, some people just can’t be found, but it is the best and certainly the easiest way to search for someone by a long way. If you are even thinking about the parents that you’ve lost then you owe it to yourself to give this a try. You might get a very pleasant surprise and you don’t have anything to lose.

Experts think that two of every ten college students today is a single parent, whether male or female. And the number of single parents in college is on a steady rise. This shouldn’t really be surprising since single-parent households have been on a sharp and steady increase for several decades. Whether by chance or choice, single parenting is a popular lifestyle for adults today.

Today, there are more single parents enrolled in college than ever before. Single parents face difficult challenges, and single parents who are also college students have additional stresses and demands to deal with.

The Challenges for Single-Parent College Students

Single parents attending college have many obstacles and difficulties. They have demands on their time greater than the amount of time they spend in class. They must also study to achieve satisfactory academic performance. Pressures to perform in class are added to those they already feel from their home and child-rearing responsibilities.

Society may not recognize the added burden. Being a single parent in college doesn’t change social expectations for making parent-teacher conferences, attending PTA meetings, coaching kids’ sports teams, and the host of activities expected of parents today.

And people may view single parents in college differently. Even if having children was a conscious choice, people may assume that the single parent was irresponsible in his or her social and sexual behavior. Peers and professors may assume the single parent is promiscuous, creating even more problems for the harried student. So while the stigma against single parents has largely disappeared in modern western cultures, it may not be completely gone for single parents in college.

* Managing Time

Handling crowded schedules and meeting difficult time constraints is hard enough for single parents. There are so many expectations and demands, and the same 24 hours for meeting them. For the single parent attending college, time is a precious commodity.

They must some how deal with the need to study and keep up the grades with the need to take care of their children and give them a happy, healthy environment in which to grow. Class attendance and the children’s extra-curricular activities may conflict.

Exams may be scheduled over soccer games. They may have to choose between taking the baby to the pediatrician and going to their own doctor about that bad cold. There are no easy choices for single parents in college.
Time constraints affect more than the kids and family unit. The single-parent college student has little time to care for their own physical and emotional health. Getting regular exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate rest may be impossible.

Finding the time and a quiet place to study may be one of the most difficult parts of their day. Often, study doesn’t begin until after the kids are asleep. That means losing precious hours of their own sleep. Balancing academic life and a single-parent family are a Herculean challenge.

* Managing Money

Single parents already face the challenge of being the main source of income for their family. Attending college adds a significant financial burden to an already strained pocketbook and budget.

As most of us know, college expenses are significant today. The costs of tuition and fees, textbooks, laboratory fees, and transportation and parking eat into limited money for rent, groceries, and child care.

While student loans are available, they add to financial burdens unknown to college students who don’t have children. Mounting debt may be a necessary evil for single parents attending college.

Is there any question, then, about why so many single parents drop out of college or get failing grades? Recent studies suggest that some single parents are choosing to put their kids in foster care or out for adoption in order to improve their lives with a college degree.

Those without a supportive extended family or outside resources may be forced to make this heart-breaking decision to give their children the best possible chance at life. The hard fact of the matter is that, without a college degree, the single parent may not be able to give their children a normal life anyway.

No matter how tempted we may be to judge the single parent in college who gives up their children, it is important to recognize and acknowledge their terrible dilemma. And for those that are able to pull it off, society owes a round of thunderous applause.

Many parents may not be aware of what it takes to be an intentional parent. Of course, parenting is an ongoing process that teaches parents new things each day and leaves much more that needs to be learnt before they become a good parent. With their busy schedules, it is hard enough for them to be a good parent and intentional parenting may seem quite daunting and unattainable at first.

Not Necessarily Perfect Parenting

Intentional parenting may not be perfect parenting; instead, it refers to a parent that has mentally determined that some action or result related to parenting need to be performed. In other words, the intentional parent is an “on purpose” parent. Parents often tend to react to their children rather than have a plan that they have prepared in advance. This is a tendency that parents readily acknowledge, but do little about.

Some reasons that contribute to intentional parenting being difficult to achieve are vision, know-how and accountability. Furthermore, the biggest obstacle to intentional parenting begins in the mind – there may not be enough time for contemplating what hangs in the balance. In other words, parents often fail to realize what can be gained and what is lost if they do not invest in their children through intentional parenting.
Lack of know-how is another challenge facing parents. Parents will often be at a loss to visualize what intentional parenting looks and feels like, and what it all about is. This means that parents’ lack a plan of action and it can be compared to driving in a foreign country without a map for guidance. To get over this shortcoming, parents need to read, research, and utilize resources to get started on the road to intentional parenting. It may even necessitate changing their strategy and approach towards the child.

After developing the vision and plan of action, there is still the task of implementing the intentional parenting concept. Being accountable is a good first step in this direction because when the parent deviates from the path of intentional parenting and may be slipping, accountability will enable the parent to get back on course and escape the mistake of falling out of habit.

With all these well meaning thoughts and ideas in place, it only remains to act with energy and time which, for busy parents, seems to be always in short supply. Nevertheless, with courage one can become a good parent. Every parent should be able to muster up enough courage and take the intentional parenting path, to achieve betterment of both child and parent.

Do not counter your parents.

Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.

People may believe that they have been sent on this earth by God Himself and we go back when He recalls us. But at the same time we shall have to accept that we have come here on this earth through our parents and up till now, we could not see a person who has come on this earth directly from God. Even the people who have got some place in mythologies and in history and who had been founding religions and had been telling us that they are God had come on this earth through their parents and none has come directly from the side of God. That is the reason in Hindu Shastras, it has been admitted that parents are above all and none on earth can have a place equal to parents.

Time is going on and we, who had started from stone age are now talking to the skies. In other words, what the parents could not do, their children are doing that. But still the children must understand that they had not come and they were not with all the wisdom, intellect and competency at their command when they were born. Their parents had been looking after them and they had been bringing them up. The parents had been saving him or her when there was cold, when there was hot and when they were wet or were lying in wet and dirty bed. The man knows that he starts caring for himself only when he comes in the age of 10 years or more and even at this stage, he is not in a position to earn and can provide himself for all the facilities which are required for proper development.

If one has an introspection, he shall come to the conclusion that he would no have survived had their been no parents or others to look after him or her. We all know that we need proper education, proper training, proper adjustment in life, proper earning and then we are to marry and settle a house. And lucky are those who have got parents and they could get all help from the side of their parents. The people who have got no parents because the parents died earlier or they had been lost in crowds, never get the same psychology as a normal child could get through parents. The child who got no parents to look after him or her remains all alone in life and he never feels that he has got someone to protect him or her.
The child is compensating his or her parents and therefore, there are chances that he or she would be having more education, more training, more wisdom, more intellect, more income and a higher status in society and in the work place, but still he is not better than his or her parents and therefore the child must keep in mind that he shall not compare himself or herself better than his or her parents. He must be thankful to his parents who could provide him facilities through which he could achieve these heights and should never counter his parents. We, the people of India know the story of Shri Rama who left his house only because his father had directed him to leave the house and even his rights to have the throne. It means, the order of the parents should be followed and no child should say that the order from the side of his or her parents is wrong and therefore, he would not follow that order.

You may carry out the order of your parents or you may not carry out the order of your parents, but one thing should be taken care of that you should not refuse to carry out the order of your parents at their face and tell them that they are in the wrong. The parents are not in a position to bear all this because they are living only with one hope in their mind that their children are obedient and they shall be carrying out the orders of their parents. This psychology and wish of the parents must be kept alive and the parents should fee proud of the fact that their children are advancing.

We must understand that all in the world other than the parents may feel jealous when we are rising, but the parents shall feel happy and shall pray for your more success. If we can pray for others, we must locate our parents who can pray for us and would always desire that we should go ahead and we should win all the ventures we have undertaken. Even your brothers and sisters may be having some love for you but still there are chances that they may not feel pleasure when you are rising higher and higher and sometime they may be having some property disputes with you. But your parents shall not be sad when you are rising. They shall be happy and they shall be proud of the fact that you are rising and rising higher in life.

So when we are allotting status and position to others, we should have more care when we have a look on our parents and they should be placed still higher and when we are doing all this we should not expect thanks from our parents. We are just doing something to repay the debt and we are not creating a debt against5 our parents. We are nobody to repay the debts which the parents have established against us and we may take thousands of such births, but still we are not in a position to clear the debts. So it is our duty to ensure that we are to say ‘yes my dear father, yes my dear mother’ and nothing more. No reasons and no explanations should be placed before parents nor we should try to establish before our parents that we are having more qualifications, more money and a higher status. We are still low and we should keep this position till our parents are alive and even after their dearth, we should not try to say that they had been in the wrong. They are right, they were right and they shall be right should be the lifelong idea with us.

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